Some people think that if you see a werewolf running around with a knife you should yell, “Watch out! Werewolf with a knife!” but I bet that werewolf just wants to butter some toast.
Ok so I was looking for historical slang terms for penis (gotta be era-accurate when writing vintage dick jokes) and I came across….something
some linguist compiled a literal timeline of genitalia slang–a cock compendium, if you will–that dates back all the way to the fucking 13th CENTURY. This motherfucker tracked the evolution of erection etymology through 800+ years, because if he doesn’t do it, who else will? Thank you for your service, Johnathon Green.
Some of my favorites include:
Shaft of Delight (1700s)
Womb Sweeper (1980s)
Master John Goodfellow (1890s)
Nimble-Wimble (1650s)
Corporal Love (1930s)
Staff of Life (1880s)
Spindle (1530s)
As good as ever twanged (1670s)
Gaying Instrument (1810s)
Beef Torpedo (1980s)
and last but not least, the first recorded use of the word Schlong, which was in 1865 CE. Tag yourself, I’m Nimble Wimble
And are the lovely ladies feeling left out? not to worry! Johnathon’s got you covered, gals, because he also made one for vaginas. Highlights:
Mrs. Fubb’s Parlor (1820s)
Poontang (1950s)
Spunk Box (1720s)
Ringerangroo (1930s)
Ineffable (1890s)
Itching Jenny (1890s)
Carnal Mantrap (1890s - a busy decade apparently)
Bookbinder’s Wife (1760s)
Rough Malkin (1530s)
Socket (1460s)
and a personal favorite, crinkum-crankum, circa approximately 1670.
I’ve been sitting on this for over a week bc frankly I was just OVERWHELMED with options. Gotta give it up to As Good As Ever Twanged for the simple joys of a good dick twanging and then Carnal Mantrap for pure descriptive terror. We love to see it.
There’s a lot of misinformation going around about the Covid-19 vaccines, so now is a good time to bring this back.
Quick science note: of the Covid vaccines currently approved/pending that I’ve seen, none contain live or weakened viruses.
There’s not a whole virus in this particular vaccine; it’s just a little strip of genetic code that cues your body to make one of the identifying proteins of the COVID-19 virus. Your body uses up all these instructions, produces some marker proteins, realizes these proteins are foreign, and produces immunity against them. So whenever a virus that has this spike protein invades, your body already recognizes it and has a defense prepared.
i love video essay youtubers . i mean like i dont care about the individual i just like to listen to hours long tearing apart and analysis of media while i draw
